Most of my life I have tried to have a plan for every situation, however improbable it might be. In professional as well as personal life, I have always prided myself as being "ready" for whatever comes having already hashed out the pros, cons and all possible scenarios and emotions. Due to this, I seemed to have got an attitude that "nothing can affect me a lot as whatever could have done so, I already have thought of it and prepared for it".
Yet, I find myself today in a situation where I am unable to bring myself to terms with pieces of information I knew one day would come. I wonder why. I guess there are somethings in life you really only come to terms with when you hear others say it out loud, no matter how long you have thought about it yourself. Its as if by saying it, they have realised it.
Especially in the matters of the heart, no matter how hard you try to get over things, they have a knack of breaking down all walls and piercing your heart in a matter of words. And you don't realise it immediately the effect of the words. It seeps into the darkest, most sheltered corners of you and bring out the emotions you had long buried, intentionally, never to have to deal with them again. And then in the depths of the night, when all is quiet, it all comes back, piece by piece and breaks you down, one tear at a time. And then you begin the process of healing again. Trying to again distance yourself and move on from places you had once left behind.
In the melange of emotions that surrounds you, many are conflicting ones. Anger and Happiness, confusion and clarity, Sadness and Calmness. They overwhelm you. You try to hold down the fort but just so.
I guess such is the Dance of Life. You dance with all the partners. Some are ugly and bad. Some beautiful and nice. Some dances you remember, some you wish you forgot. Some you do with muscle memory. Some you go through with passion. But in the end, you keep dancing. You keep living.
So, shall we dance again, one more time?
